What Mary Needs

So my good bloggin friend Skippy posted an interesting blog.....so you go to Google and type in your first name + Needs. So I typed in "Mary needs" and here are some of the hits that I got. It is just a sampling of over 144 million hits, apparently I may be needier than I thought....you be the judge.

"Mary needs to be slapped for this" (probably)

"Mary needs shadows" (like peter pan)

"Mary needs to focus on D" (D=defense for you non-sport inclined types)

"Mary needs the Lamb in School" (finally someone wrote about that dang poem!)

"Mary needs a sheet of paper" (so i can wad it up and play fetch with my cat)

"Mary needs therapy" (likely....but don't judge me...you probably need it too)

"Mary needs some building materials" (indeed!)

"Mary needs to learn the rules" (there are no rules)

"Sexy Mary needs attention on her feet" (that one is my favorite and the most true)

"Mary needs 75 pounds of a 44% nut mixture" (yes, yes I do...how did they know that?)

"Mary needs a Joseph" (for my nativity?)

"Mary needs to get out and about more" (like to the dentist or like to a party?)

"Mary needs to pluck!" (nope...did that yesterday)

"Mary needs money for a room!" (sure....you paying?)

"Mary needs to toss more than her hat up into the air" (why, what else do you suggest I toss into the air?)

"Mary needs a glass of water" (true, always about a glass short of being hydrated)

"Mary needs to send him the appropriate bits to start with" (I apologize if I have your bits....I took them not knowing you need them to start....call me)

"Mary needs nebulising with high dose bronchodilator" (only if I attemtp to go jogging or get chased)

"Mary needs to determine the best day to work her magic" (Oh shoot...was that today?!?)

"Mary needs to remember that the upfront cost of purchasing a property includes a stamp duty"
(I think we all need to remember that one)

"Mary needs a family that will be consistent, firm, and can help teach her how to manage her emotions." (hey family, I think you're inconsistent mushy poor emotional instructional support is just fine the way it is)

"Mary needs to climb" (enough said)

And the grand finale......get your cheesy 'eww gross' and barf reflexes ready....

"Mary needs You!" (Disclaimer: Depending on who you are that may or may not be true. You can contact me if you are unsure which of the two categories you fall into.)

Blog Post Complete. I'm Out.

Best Day Ever

Have you ever lost something and had to completely write it off as a total loss because the complete and total sadness that you would endure if you held onto hope would be unbearable. If you've been alive longer than 3 years, it is likely that you have had an experience such as this. And then.....have you actually found that object after what seemed like all hope had been lost?

I DID!

See, I don't own a computer, because I'm always hauling around the laptop from work. Not wanting to keep all of my personal stuff and other work on the office network, I had it all on my external hard drive. And then i lost it. Gone into the abyss somewhere between Indiana and Colorado. After hours of searching and phone calls I had written it off. All of my pictures from the last 5 years....GONE. All of my music.....GONE. All of my instructor manuals, lesson plans and other work.....GONE. Basically all records of my life vanished with a fine "puff" into the atmosphere.

As I was filing my end of year paperwork, receipts and the like I ran across my car rental form from that fateful trip and remembered I hadn't called them....so with one last hope I dialed. Low and behold......Avis had my hard drive.....and apparently was going to toss it tomorrow because it had been held for its 30 day period. Today was the last day! They said they would have called but the person who found it in the vehicle didn't record which vehicle it came from so it just sat in their lost and found for 30 days. When she told me she had it and started listing all of the contents of the case I offered her my first born child and officially declared today, February 17th, 2009, the best day ever.

NOTE: While today was pretty dern tootin great, I do have greater aspirations for my future and hope that I have many days that can trump this one.

Golden Beast Update

So apparently there is a cradel that holds the engine in a car. Well, true to the foreshadowing in the lullabye the cradel did fall. But in this case it is due to the two back bolts falling out rather than the traditional 'bow break'. So when the bolts fell out the cradel fell and the engine fell which pulled the steering mechanism out at which point I became, according to my mechanic "extremely lucky or blessed depening on your perspective" that my airbag did not deploy in my face. Awesome-town.

Breakfast....yum...try this one on for taste

Onion and Potatoes diced real itty bitty - fry in bacon grease and season with ground mustard, garlic salt and pepper...oh yeah...until they are crispylicious. put aside. In leftover greases, throw in eggs (not pre-scrambled) and mix em up in the pan. When they are almost done pull it off the heat and add some cheese - any flavor. finish cooking in pan, off the direct heat....they will be perfecto. In the meain time i hope you toasted an english muffin and then thought to smear it with a sweetly flavored cream cheese. Slap that open faced onto your plate, top with the cheesey eggs and potatoe onion bits for a filling and deelichus treat.

Breakfast on!

The Golden Beast is Dying

My steering whell spins like one of those plastic yellow ones on a playground attached to the post near the top of the slide. It gives the children the illusion that they have some sort of control over where the playground is going. Sort of like my car now. The steering wheel has been reduced to an illusion of control when in fact there is none. The steering wheel is no longer useful.

At least it happened in a parking lot at work rather than going 80mph on 465.

I am thinking the hunk of metal would make a great addition to a local scrap yard.

humph.

It's only 1:15 This Time!

Just finished work for the evening....or shall I say early wee morning. That crazy conference program got finished today along with a bunch of other time consuming detail oriented brain shrinking tasks....but I think that at this point I did all of that yesterday. Regardless, things for the conference are coming together. Tomorrow is the last day before the mayhem begins. I normally wouldn't write in this blog bloggy bloggerson on the pre-eve of the most stressful week of my year, but my bedsheets are in the dryer otherwise I would be sawing logs like Paul Bunion...i bet he had big bunions. Though if I went to sleep right on the matress pad with no sheets and naked pillows, it certainly wouldn't be the first time.

So here are some of my late night thoughts:
1. I should buy stock in coffee. I don't care what kind, but preferably something good...not that horrible instant crap.
2. coffee should officially replace the long lost gold standard. Anyone who disagrees with me is not my friend and probably isn't reading this anyway.
3. I ate generic fruit loops for dinner tonight at 10:30pm. I think that is only marginally pathetic and only slightly worse on the sad scale.
4. I really like bacon. I think for lunch tomorrow I will get a BLT. Every time I get one I am extra nice to the people making the sandwich and I think they give me a little extra because I don't judge them for wearing hair nets.
5. Maybe I change my mind about the gold standard.....bacon might be a better choice.

God Bless my sleepy Soul, it's going to be a long week.

2am

It's past 2am and I have finished my 3rd cup of coffee on the night. Working on the conference program - nitty gritty itty bitty details. Being pleasantly distracted by some random movie with Mat Damon being a lawyer. Snack Pack is in the mood to play fetch so he frantically chases the hot pink mouse that I chuck across the room and dutifully brings it back to be thrown again. At least my cat has some kind of dog-like trait.